Love the Reality: A Parenting Pearl That Shapes Great Leadership

Lean Thomas

Raise the kids you have
CREDITS: Wikimedia CC BY-SA 3.0

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Raise the kids you have

A Dinner Conversation Sparks Profound Insight (Image Credits: Unsplash)

A casual question at a celebratory dinner unveiled timeless wisdom that reshaped one executive’s views on family and business alike.

A Dinner Conversation Sparks Profound Insight

Guests gathered to honor Jules Kroll and his wife Lynn, a couple who met in college decades ago and raised four accomplished children. Someone posed the question: How do you raise good kids? Lynn responded without hesitation: Raise the children you have, not the ones you would have liked to have.

That straightforward reply struck deep. It challenged long-held assumptions about guiding the next generation. The advice highlighted the need to embrace each child’s unique traits rather than imposing a preconceived ideal. Parents often enter the role with vivid visions of their offspring’s futures, from education paths to hobbies. Reality, however, brings distinct personalities, dreams, and hurdles that demand adaptation.

From Personal Dreams to Parental Awakening

One father recalled crafting detailed plans for his future family even as a middle schooler, complete with names, sports, and milestones. Life delivered children with their own ambitions and struggles, upending those blueprints. He learned that true support meant observing their individual quirks and passions closely.

Parenthood shifted from molding perfect outcomes to fostering safe exploration. Children needed space to stumble, persevere, and evolve authentically. This approach revealed paths more enriching than any prior imagination. The role demanded unconditional love and presence, attuned to who they truly were.

Business Parallels: Nurture the Company at Hand

The same principle extends seamlessly to leadership. Entrepreneurs launch ventures brimming with potential, much like newborns. Early realities – market demands, team dynamics, and competition – quickly diverge from initial visions. Success hinges on assessing the actual organization and steering it accordingly.

Founders must inspire culture, build teams, and adapt strategies to genuine strengths and needs. Expecting flawless execution of original plans invites failure. Instead, leaders provide direction while empowering the company to become its optimal self. As paths unfold, opportunities emerge that outshine early concepts.

A Fintech Wake-Up Call

Four years into building Capitolis, a fintech firm, a coveted feature in The Wall Street Journal marked a milestone. Recognition thrilled the team, yet misinterpretations nearly derailed progress. The incident forced a pivot: Tailor marketing, sales, hiring, and partnerships to the company’s true nature.

Choices now centered on what suited Capitolis specifically, not abstract ideals. This mindset fueled growth, turning the firm into a unicorn with vast potential. The CEO embraced the advice weekly, sharing it with parents, peers, and fellow executives. It underscored humility, dedication, and courage in facing reality.

Key Takeaways

  • Observe and support unique paths in children and teams without rigid expectations.
  • Adapt visions to emerging realities for authentic growth and success.
  • Lead with love, presence, and empowerment to unlock unforeseen possibilities.

This wisdom reminds us that fulfillment arises from engaging deeply with what exists, not what we wish for. Whether in family life or boardrooms, raising the reality we have builds stronger futures. What experiences have shaped your approach to nurturing potential? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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